i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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