dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
