this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
