Buhtt sex?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
