between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
ugly people sure do ruin things
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
is it fun? or sober?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
