The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
