I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
