You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
