last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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