Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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