I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
