I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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