Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
