It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Let's paint friendship bongs
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
