I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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