I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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