I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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