When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
