wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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