I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
