Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
