guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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