Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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