The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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