Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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