1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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