I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
