i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
