Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
