my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Buhtt sex?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
