My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
it hurts more in the daytime
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
