Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
