one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
