Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
