Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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