I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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