as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
