Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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