I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
