bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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