your room smells of hookers.
And success
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
