You just made me feel so damn special
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
