he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
