Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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