Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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