I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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