Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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