Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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