MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I can't put those talents on a resume
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize