So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
