I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
