My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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