Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
