elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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