So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
