Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
