Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
