Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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