is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
