we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
