Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
