Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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