Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
