physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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