i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
