but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
