He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize