would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
