Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
