I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
