Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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