you win again, gameday.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
