two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
