her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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