mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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