Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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