Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
