We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
